UnCONventional - Ahem.

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My father's family name being Pirrip, and my Christian name Philip, my infant tongue could make of both names nothing longer or more explicit than Pip. So, I called myself Pip, and came to be called Pip. I give Pirrip as my father's family name, on the authority of his tombstone and my sister,—Mrs. Joe Gargery, who married the blacksmith. As I never saw my father or my mother, and never saw any likeness of either of them (for their days were long before the days of photographs), my first fancies regarding what they were like were unreasonably derived from their tombstones. The shape of the letters on my father's, gave me an odd idea that he was a square, stout, dark man, with curly black hair. From the character and turn of the inscription, ''Also Georgiana Wife of the Above,'' I drew a childish conclusion that my mother was freckled and sickly. To five little stone lozenges, each about a foot and a half long, which were arranged in a neat row beside their grave, and were sacred to the memory of five little brothers of mine,—who gave up trying to get a living, exceedingly early in that universal struggle,—I am indebted for a belief I religiously entertained that they had all been born on their backs with their hands in their trousers-pockets, and had never taken them out in this state of existence. Ours was the marsh country, down by the river, within, as the river wound, twenty miles of the sea. My first most vivid and broad impression of the identity of things seems to me to have been gained on a memorable raw afternoon towards evening. At such a time I found out for certain that this bleak place overgrown with nettles was the churchyard; and that Philip Pirrip, late of this parish, and also Georgiana wife of the above, were dead and buried; and that Alexander, Bartholomew, Abraham, Tobias, and Roger, infant children of the aforesaid, were also dead and buried; and that the dark flat wilderness beyond the churchyard, intersected with dikes and mounds and gates, with scattered cattle feeding on it, was the marshes; and that the low leaden line beyond was the river; and that the distant savage lair from which the wind was rushing was the sea; and that the small bundle of shivers growing afraid of it all and beginning to cry, was Pip.

Ahem.

March 24th, 2016 | by Trae Dorn

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└ Tags: jim, ruth, sarah p

Discussion (13) ¬

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calvsie

March 24, 2016 at 12:24 am | # | Reply

wait… why is the alt text… ohhhhh… wait what?
Blitzkrieg1701

March 24, 2016 at 12:52 am | # | Reply

I didn’t even know they made Charles Dickens video games
- Sleeps Furiously
  
  March 24, 2016 at 10:16 am | # | Reply
  
  But what I do know now is that they should.
KORfan

March 25, 2016 at 11:33 pm | # | Reply

The green-haired person does not have a badge displayed on their front above the waist.
- E. Bernhard Warg
  
  March 25, 2016 at 11:40 pm | # | Reply
  
  I think I see a lanyard!
  Or is it her shoulders?
  Stick figure anatomy is confusing.
- Glenn
  
  March 27, 2016 at 11:58 am | # | Reply
  
  It’ll get reconned later.
- Trae Dorn
  
  March 27, 2016 at 12:00 pm | # | Reply
  
  Wait, above the waist is a requirement at some cons? I always tie my badge to my belt…
  - Dessa
    
    March 28, 2016 at 4:25 pm | # | Reply
    
    Sakura-Con’s policies clearly state “chest high and be visible at all times.”
E. Bernhard Warg

March 27, 2016 at 5:12 pm | # | Reply
E. Bernhard Warg

March 27, 2016 at 5:13 pm | # | Reply

Whoops! I formatted that reply incorrectly. Here’s what the sound effects reminded me of:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPA7SQbwDOQ
ed rhodes

March 27, 2016 at 5:55 pm | # | Reply

I think I’m missing the point here. Is she playing a video game? Is it annoying Ruth? Why is the panel missing? Help me out here people.
- Trae Dorn
  
  March 27, 2016 at 5:57 pm | # | Reply
  
  Ruth is playing a video game.
  
  It is annoying Sarah.
  - ed rhodes
    
    March 28, 2016 at 2:07 pm | # | Reply
    
    Thanks. I am terrible with character names. If you add enough characters to a series, I get completely lost as to who’s who!

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Trae's Blog

The Weird Things People Send to Duct Tape Boy ( December 18th 2019 )
So the mascot for No Brand Con is "Duct Tape Boy," a member of the No Brand Heroes. Years ago we set up a Facebook page for him. We only post to it occasionally, and you would expect the responses to be innocent.

They are not.

Posts made to the page fall into two categories: Promotional links for the con and "in character" musings. It's supposed to be super obvious that the page is the mascot for a convention. We try to be very, very clear with that.

We are apparently not clear enough.

Every once and a while, the page gets sent messages. It's only happened a couple of times in the last few months, but these... well... are really really strange.

Here are the best examples:

(And yes, I sent that guy a photo of a Playdia)

It's just super, super weird. Like please -- horny fetishists of Facebook -- stop sending messages to innocent convention mascot Facebook pages? The only people who end up reading them is me and the other page manager Calvsie. Spare us from your kinks, okay?

Duct Tape Boy is supposed to evoke a childlike wonder, not whatever gives you your weird boner. What consenting adults do at home is their own business -- so please stop trying to make it mine, okay?

And if you're a pedophile, you can fuck right off.

(View Comments)