UnCONventional - Bwip and Break

RSS

‹

›

''Hold your noise!'' cried a terrible voice, as a man started up from among the graves at the side of the church porch. ''Keep still, you little devil, or I'll cut your throat!'' A fearful man, all in coarse gray, with a great iron on his leg. A man with no hat, and with broken shoes, and with an old rag tied round his head. A man who had been soaked in water, and smothered in mud, and lamed by stones, and cut by flints, and stung by nettles, and torn by briars; who limped, and shivered, and glared, and growled; and whose teeth chattered in his head as he seized me by the chin. ''Oh! Don't cut my throat, sir,'' I pleaded in terror. ''Pray don't do it, sir.'' ''Tell us your name!'' said the man. ''Quick!'' ''Pip, sir.'' ''Once more,'' said the man, staring at me. ''Give it mouth!'' ''Pip. Pip, sir.'' ''Show us where you live,'' said the man. ''Pint out the place!'' I pointed to where our village lay, on the flat in-shore among the alder-trees and pollards, a mile or more from the church. The man, after looking at me for a moment, turned me upside down, and emptied my pockets. There was nothing in them but a piece of bread. When the church came to itself,—for he was so sudden and strong that he made it go head over heels before me, and I saw the steeple under my feet,—when the church came to itself, I say, I was seated on a high tombstone, trembling while he ate the bread ravenously.

Bwip and Break

March 29th, 2016 | by Trae Dorn

Share on Tumblr

└ Tags: ruth, sarah p

Comment ¬

Click here to cancel reply.

Trae's Blog

The Weird Things People Send to Duct Tape Boy ( December 18th 2019 )
So the mascot for No Brand Con is "Duct Tape Boy," a member of the No Brand Heroes. Years ago we set up a Facebook page for him. We only post to it occasionally, and you would expect the responses to be innocent.

They are not.

Posts made to the page fall into two categories: Promotional links for the con and "in character" musings. It's supposed to be super obvious that the page is the mascot for a convention. We try to be very, very clear with that.

We are apparently not clear enough.

Every once and a while, the page gets sent messages. It's only happened a couple of times in the last few months, but these... well... are really really strange.

Here are the best examples:

(And yes, I sent that guy a photo of a Playdia)

It's just super, super weird. Like please -- horny fetishists of Facebook -- stop sending messages to innocent convention mascot Facebook pages? The only people who end up reading them is me and the other page manager Calvsie. Spare us from your kinks, okay?

Duct Tape Boy is supposed to evoke a childlike wonder, not whatever gives you your weird boner. What consenting adults do at home is their own business -- so please stop trying to make it mine, okay?

And if you're a pedophile, you can fuck right off.

(View Comments)