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Note: While it’s true that many things are based on actual events, the characters contained within this strip are not meant to be direct analogs for actual people. They are not based off of people living, dead, or undead and any resemblance is coincidental. Nor are they based off of Ferrets.
Because that would be weird.
At this point, am thinking best route is to find a big scary looking dude Sarah can glue herself to his side. Naturally, one who will put up with her and ideally knows the score.
Well, Pink Hair Boy there behind her looks pretty large… ?
He should be selling paper towels!