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Note: While it’s true that many things are based on actual events, the characters contained within this strip are not meant to be direct analogs for actual people. They are not based off of people living, dead, or undead and any resemblance is coincidental. Nor are they based off of Ferrets.
Because that would be weird.
You fool! Never request no freak outs – it only delays the inevitable storm of madness. ‘Course, usually when you are dumb enough to request this, you’re pretty freaked out yourself. The circle of life etc. etc.