Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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Give a dipshiat an inch…
You know, there was a time, maybe 7-10 years ago and before, that I would have dismissed the events in this comic as unlikely. I don’t now.
The funny thing is that the most absurd stuff you couldn’t possibly make up, are in fact the very things that often happen.
Ugh, I come across ‘Dave Peviani’ (and I know who he’s based on) fans in a fandom I’m part of. Some of them are so sure he’s innocent that it’s pathetic, and they go rabidly attack anyone that doesn’t agree with them.
yea anyone who’s even a little into anime or a fan of… “Male Avian Dentistry” know who dave is based on ….he’s a tw@
I have yet to come upon something here that is ‘unrealitistic’ in any light no matter what it is.
But that’s also probably because I’ve experienced some of this shit.
I’ve experienced a lot of it myself, yes. But the level of, “I’m a complete dickhead moron, and Ima gonna get up and yell about it at a public event like this.” that happens now – not so much. Living proof I’m old I guess. Was a time when this kinda shiat would have had the crowd closing in on you with, “Ok you can STFU and leave, or you can get your ass kicked by 12 pixies, 4 Master Chiefs, 2 centaurs, and some dude cosplaying a Khornate Chaos Marine a little too well. Twice.”
MFers used to stay under their rocks where they belonged.