Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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She is just about the most adorable drunk ever.
Captain Cute to the rescue!!
This entire arc reminds me of NebrasKon one year, where an attendee (cosplaying in Racoon City riot gear) went into a bank with his fake guns…
Cops were called, guns were verified as fake, he was let go with a warning. Some people just don’t think of the “outside world” or “mundanes” when they do stuff like this.
I remember doing a play once where I was Jesse James (long story). I’d also come down with a cold (which I do whenever I do a play at the same time I’m working a 40-hour week, something about over extending myself) and I’d decided to get myself an orange juice at the bodego next door. In full costume and make up (western outfit, three day growth of (fake) beard and two six guns). The next day I went into the same bodego BEFORE the performance to get the orange juice and the owner said; “That was YOU last night, wasn’t it? Man, I almost kicked your ass out of my store coming in looking like that!”
I can sorta understand it. You’re just doing your thing and don’t think how it looks to other people. Couple years ago, went to see a movie on halloween. As I came out, took a moment to figure why people were looking at me funny. Had forgotten i was in costume.
Con i went ti this weekend had a booth next to the general lee at the entrence selling confederate flags…. ill trade them