Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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oh Terrence, you just rolled a 1 on your self-preservation roll.
(and now we see the douchiness inherent in the scumbag)
This is where he needs a good kick in the nuts.
But he rolled a natural 20 on his douchebag roll!
Damn, this guy is leaning hard on the “I’m a jerk” button. When do we get to the part where we find out it’s his fault for not patrolling as he should have. Technically it’s not the con’s fault the chandelier fell, it’s a dumbass attendee.
I depends on when it happened, either before or after the room was signed back over to the hotel.
Not going to lie, getting kind of silly how much of a dick he is.
I am going to guess he is some evil conglomeration of assholes you have met over the years.
I would not doubt that. Since Trae has work in the convention scene for many years and has attended a variety of cons in his lifetime, he has run into some of the biggest jackasses you could ever meet. Although his characters are fictional, they are based a lot on his own experiences in life. trust me, I used to be one of the Assholes he ran into when I was a teenager although I was never as bad as Terrence here.
SOMEONE KICK HIM IN THE BALLS ALREADY
There were moments I had hope for a redemption arc for Terrance. Those moments are very much over.
Totally brain free….