Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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duh-duh-DUH!
Yup.
Oh good geezes… Can Terrence get any douchier?
YES he could be wearing a MAGA shirt under the uniform
I just about spit out my water. Jesus Christ Trae.
Yep, I should have seen this coming. Well I guess Terrence will now be permanently barred from all cons.
I guess I’m not the only one around here that went, “Oh. That fucker. Why am I not surprised.”
At least they’re unlikely to join forces…
Part of me feels of should have seen this coming, but I very did not.
How convenient of him to define his outfit as “speech.” Thanks, Terrence!
It ticks me off that people don’t understand that “Freedom of Speech” refers to actions by the GOVERMENT. Private groups and organizations are perfectly free to oppress your right to self expression WITHIN THEIR CONFINES!
But then, that’s not something you could explain to Terrance, is it?
Yes, he has freedom of speech. But the staff of an event or the owners of the property have every right to say, “Not here.” It’s called Freedom of Association.