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So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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THIS IS…whoa! ._. Wine leads to..WHOA!
WHY WHATEVER DO YOU MEAN? 🙂
This is going to get interesting.
What brand and flavor of wine is it btw? I got this stuff from Algoma WI, called Naughty Girl from Von Stihl.
That stuff is good, does Veronica has that? If so there is going to be a party cause that stuff is 40% Grape Brandy lol.
Anyway what kind of wine is it?
It’s a bottle of red wine. To define it further would require me to know more about Veronica’s taste in wine, which I’d rather not lock in as canon right now. 😛
This can only end well with rainbows and butterflies. And perhaps skittles.
This can only end in either:
#1 Deliciously regretful actions, which we will never speak of again.
#2 Deliciously regretful actions, which we will repeat next week
#3 Passing out drunk on the cusp of regretful actions.