Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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1. Yep
2. yep
3. I imagine the third word is nuns, if so, yep.
I really want to know what “the incident” with glitter was.
Like “The Noodle Incident” from Calvin & Hobbes, it’s probably funnier if we never find out the details.
This scenario sounds about right. The first time I assumed the role as dealer’s liaison for a convention, there was a case of theft in the vendor hall the one day I went off-site for lunch. I returned to find that security had been called and everything. Thankfully, the issue was resolved quickly and they ended up not needing to call me to rush back.
(To note, I had informed my staff I was going off-site for lunch and would be back in about an hour or so.)
…also, they’re electing her Con Chair…
Yup – everything happens at the meeting you miss.
Whee – a “How the hell does this con ever survive year after year??” illustration meeting, my favorite! (The answer of course is by sucking in a few competent people, and bitching your face off when they start shouting and beating you about the head and neck with a pipe until you agree to something workable.) Then that person gets tired of it, and a new challenger appears…