Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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Totally not what I thought it would be. I should have posted my predictions (frivolous lawsuit, venue extra-EXTRA unavailable…uh…I know I had at least one other…) with the last comic.
This should be interesting.
…oh S**T
Now that’s a nightmare. Embezzlement?
Set the Wayback Machine to 1980. Galacticon in Los Angeles is supposed to be at the Bonaventure Hotel downtown. All the fen show up and… no con. It was eventually learned that the chair had “invested” the entire con treasury in a white, powdery substance and got busted. There’s a whole class of us called Galacticon Refugees who discovered Loscon 7 at the Anaheim Sheraton and have been going to Loscon ever since.
Well that explains a few things – that was when a “friend” told me how Galacticon, the con he was working on had just lost it’s person in charge of the art show and would I pullleeeezzzee take over running said art show. Next month. Already all organized and stuff. Being way too naive for my own good I said ok, and about the time I noticed the “organization” was nil and I had stuck something together with spit and wire, I was informed that the con was suddenly cancelled due to losing its hotel (this about a week before it was scheduled). I was so relieved I really didn’t pay any more attention to the thing. Figures they didn’t warn anybody. Chairman get caught pushing or just send the whole budget up his nose? Idiot.
Caught pushing.
I can rarely say something “started on a cliffhanger”. Consider me in suspense!
What about many episodes of 21st century “Doctor Who?”
…not what I had guessed… really hoping is something along the lines of ‘oh, didn’t we tell you? The money all gets transfer to this other account during the off-season. For reasons.’
Hmmm. Now willt his be a Los Pegasus situation…
OK, what ancient Chinese guy did they manage to tick off? “May you live in interesting times” indeed…
Did they invite a musical act who, not realizing that a fan-run convention is not a typical venue, took advantage of Room Service?