   Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
My grandmother died last night. This wasn't a shock or a surprise. Her health has been on the decline, and she's been in hospice for the last month. She lived a long life, and in her final days she was surrounded by her three adult children.
My grandma was a kind woman. She wasn't perfect, but I always felt loved in her presence. She was a retired kindergarten teacher, and was still working when I was a kid. I have so many happy memories sitting at her kitchen table, and I'm going to carry those with me for the rest of my life. She was also proof that anyone who claims that you get more conservative as you get older is full of shit, because she certainly didn't.
I think it's interesting how the body processes grief sometimes. I don't know that I'll cry, but over the past month, knowing this was coming, I've felt a tension in my gut. Now that she's passed, instead of relief that tension is replaced by a sense of emptiness. That something is missing that should still be there. Something has been taken away, and I feel it.
Of course, as I wrote that, I immediately started crying... so I guess my body processes grief in pretty ordinary ways too.
I wanted to come up with something profound linking this to Beltane, which we sit in the middle of right now, but it just seemed hackneyed. Like I was trying to dig out some greater significance when the truth is death comes whenever it wants. The only predictable thing about it is that it's the end of all of our journeys. I hope that when I pass I'm so lucky to have lived such a long life with people that I love around me in my final days.
For the record, I will be fine. I just needed to get these words out while they were still in my head. I don't have some rousing conclusion or deep insight to tack on here at the end, just that gut feeling that something is missing.
Because it is.
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Let me guess – you’re out on the other side of the Maxwell’s Demon that seems to have taken up residence over the midwest. Out here in LA we’re getting Santa Anas and it’s been in the ’70s…
Hang in there! It looks downright scary on TV.
I’m in Indiana, where we got hit with a snow storm right before the cold, so everything is pretty much shut down. All the county highways are closed, as is the Interstate from here in Lafayette all the way to Chicago. My wife wisely decided we should stock up on food on Saturday though, so we’ve thus far just been sitting this one out.
Since Purdue University has been shut down for the weather though too, she’s been home from work these last couple days as well. Since I work from home though, sadly I don’t get the time off. 😛
And before everybody else points this out, that shoulda been the 70s as in 70 degrees Farenheit. We have not been innundated with Star Trek reruns, and silly looking pants. Do not worry.
I was a rational human being once… or I thought I was… okay I never was a rational human being
You’re a fan, rationality is over-rated.