Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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I think a T-Rex at an Anime con might suffer from olfactory overload…
Not that Max or Veronica should be heroes, but they could tripped that dude the 2 of them could have held him down til the police come.
You say that, but Max has a strong instinct to not get stabbed.
True true. but they could have done a surprise attack. Oh well it’s funnier this way. But the dude is probably on drugs which supposed the IRL guy was on when he did this at No brand this year.
You know you should never ever try anything even remotely heroic against person with weapon, don’t you? Every police(wo)man will tell you that. Cops will always tell you to never try to stop or disarm any attacker unless s/he is going to harm you etc. and it is the last option. You are supposed to be good citizen and keep yourself as safe as possible. If you try something like you just suggested it is the quickest way to become one more corpse in their day and no one wants that. No one. As is said, there are full cemeteries of heroes and their only witness is the grass growing from their bones. (Really, did you just suggest to ground wild running person with knife in hand? By two people untrained in armed combat? Battling otaku lines doesn’t count for this. 😛 )
Yeah, this is what I was trying to get at.
Not to mention, the police are literally right there. Max and Veronica playing hero would actually be more likely to get the two of them hurt, and get in the way of the cops doing their job.
Yeah, my instinct is to get in the guys way… how I’ve managed to avoid living this long without serious injury is a mystery.