Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
My grandmother died last night. This wasn't a shock or a surprise. Her health has been on the decline, and she's been in hospice for the last month. She lived a long life, and in her final days she was surrounded by her three adult children.
My grandma was a kind woman. She wasn't perfect, but I always felt loved in her presence. She was a retired kindergarten teacher, and was still working when I was a kid. I have so many happy memories sitting at her kitchen table, and I'm going to carry those with me for the rest of my life. She was also proof that anyone who claims that you get more conservative as you get older is full of shit, because she certainly didn't.
I think it's interesting how the body processes grief sometimes. I don't know that I'll cry, but over the past month, knowing this was coming, I've felt a tension in my gut. Now that she's passed, instead of relief that tension is replaced by a sense of emptiness. That something is missing that should still be there. Something has been taken away, and I feel it.
Of course, as I wrote that, I immediately started crying... so I guess my body processes grief in pretty ordinary ways too.
I wanted to come up with something profound linking this to Beltane, which we sit in the middle of right now, but it just seemed hackneyed. Like I was trying to dig out some greater significance when the truth is death comes whenever it wants. The only predictable thing about it is that it's the end of all of our journeys. I hope that when I pass I'm so lucky to have lived such a long life with people that I love around me in my final days.
For the record, I will be fine. I just needed to get these words out while they were still in my head. I don't have some rousing conclusion or deep insight to tack on here at the end, just that gut feeling that something is missing.
Because it is.
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For some reason I’m reminded of the time the announcer could NOT make out the name on the card (and it was an original character so there were no other clues) and wound up announcing “Fred. From the planet Fred.”
(Sorry – the statute of limitations has run out of specifics. 🙂 )
HA, this one page brings back memories for me.
1) First time staffing, I got conscripted (pun intended) to run the Dealers room. I’d never had run a shop before, let alone a room full of people who were selling and buying things. I was such a nervous wreck during it. Helped a few dealers out, ended my 12 hours of doing so by going in to an anxiety attack from the nervousness and stress. Fun times.
2) Got talked in to running an eating contest. Never again.
3) Was excited to help out a convention-run video series (ugh…if you look it up…Awesome Rangers 3) as a brash Irishman. Ended up nearly killing myself a series of times.
4) Some how found myself as a backstage hand for the Cosplay contest.
5) One year, found myself on stage trying to buy time for the judges during said contest.
6) Conscripted in to forming my own committee. No regrets on this one.
We all died a little in Awesome Rangers. Some more literal that others. …some a little too close to literal, now that I think on it. 🙁
The Indestructible Ed.
Wow, I miss times when the Cosplay contest was actually that big… Ceremonies completely fills the Main Events room. Cosplay… not so much.