Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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This should be fun. (Barring the obvious fun.) The first time that kind of relationship is tested with an outside sexual thing… it can be interesting. It might be fine, and it might kinda not. The reality sometimes record scratch skips your brain into spitting out how you really feel about this now that it’s not an abstract.
Don’t get me wrong, how you really feel can be yea, nay, and may or may not agree with how you thought you felt. But it is a bit of a portentous moment in any relationship that includes it. End pontificating.
This is not the first person Sarah has slept with since getting together with Ruth.
This is the first person who has shown up in the strip physically (others have been mentioned in dialogue)
Yeah, I think the point being this is the first person who it seems to be more than just a sexual attraction.
Yep, thanks Ecchi – that’s what I was trying to convey, albeit poorly – perils of too much post revision. Previous, it hasn’t been anyone that’s mattered enough to signify one way or another. The first one that strays into “Really want” territory is often the problem child.
Yeah – see my reply to Ecchi, over-revision led me to word that quite chimptacularly. Mea culpa.
“Someone break out the banjo”
….I’m not thinking of a banjo tie in. Am I missing something?
Only a very inside joke