Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
My grandmother died last night. This wasn't a shock or a surprise. Her health has been on the decline, and she's been in hospice for the last month. She lived a long life, and in her final days she was surrounded by her three adult children.
My grandma was a kind woman. She wasn't perfect, but I always felt loved in her presence. She was a retired kindergarten teacher, and was still working when I was a kid. I have so many happy memories sitting at her kitchen table, and I'm going to carry those with me for the rest of my life. She was also proof that anyone who claims that you get more conservative as you get older is full of shit, because she certainly didn't.
I think it's interesting how the body processes grief sometimes. I don't know that I'll cry, but over the past month, knowing this was coming, I've felt a tension in my gut. Now that she's passed, instead of relief that tension is replaced by a sense of emptiness. That something is missing that should still be there. Something has been taken away, and I feel it.
Of course, as I wrote that, I immediately started crying... so I guess my body processes grief in pretty ordinary ways too.
I wanted to come up with something profound linking this to Beltane, which we sit in the middle of right now, but it just seemed hackneyed. Like I was trying to dig out some greater significance when the truth is death comes whenever it wants. The only predictable thing about it is that it's the end of all of our journeys. I hope that when I pass I'm so lucky to have lived such a long life with people that I love around me in my final days.
For the record, I will be fine. I just needed to get these words out while they were still in my head. I don't have some rousing conclusion or deep insight to tack on here at the end, just that gut feeling that something is missing.
Because it is.
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I like that mode that Max is in.
I wouldn’t call it a mode, so much as Max’s own conflicting morals coming out in an untimely semi-witty comment.
I’d have probably called his ass out long ago – right after the whole fiasco with his last Ex. You don’t bring that shit to con meetings. I get super fucking picky about that shit. Leave your personal life butthurt at home.
Either way, Max is being indirect as shit, but hell that’s Max. While he’s going about this as a total shit, he’s not terribly in the wrong either. Veronica is being quite immature herself by enticing Max’s libido and at the same time ignoring anything about his feelings. And yet she actually DOES have feelings for him. What the honest to god hell. Then it takes jealousy of the fact that Max might -actually- be attractive to younger girls despite his age for Veronica to barely admit to herself that she probably doesn’t want to let this go this time around.
I just…buh. I have a headache.
Pretty much this.
They need to be stripped naked, locked into a velvet padded room with lots of pillows, chocolate fresh oysters and wine coolers, and just let the two go at it.
When they come out, have lots of fluids available, some EMTs and a justice of the peace. Because they will have lost massive amounts of bodily fluids, (one way or another) likely to need first aid for various abrasions and rug burns, (or to declare which killed which first) and a justice of the peace to either officially marry them or bury them.
I figure as much as those two fight and make up, they’re going to be married, if not by the next convention, then most likely during it, batleths at the ready in shredded Klingon leather armor. Both of them half naked.
Said it before… kinda wish I had his problems.