Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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Jesus christ, what kind of rats were breeding in this grocery store?
On the one hand, super cheap.
On the other, you’ve gotta deal with vicious rats who do not fear human presence.
… How much extra money do they have to work with exactly?
Urban rats in numbers take crap from no one. They’re well aware they’re not required to. Some “abandoned” buildings end up not hosting squatter populations for that very reason. The buildings are already occupied, and the rats appreciate food delivery as much as anyone.
*little bastards never tip though “/
Ruth suddenly becomes aware of her super powers to control rats and slowly becomes Willard.
Cheap or not, I’m willing to bet con-goers would freak out at seeing rats during the convention. And since rats are curious little buggers, I could see vendors having a problem with it (in the event they would still have bigger vendors in an open area like that). It might be a good move financially, but there’s going to be people who see it as prioritizing profit over con-goer safety, even if that’s far from the truth.
That kind of bad press can spread fast among the convention scene, especially if the one complaining has a platform or a following.
No no no! Do NOT run! It attracts attention and shows weakness, the two things you do NOT want to be doing. Walk briskly. Either maintain eye contact, or turn your back like they’re not worth your time, they’ll know it’s a bluff, but might respect the moxie.