Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
My grandmother died last night. This wasn't a shock or a surprise. Her health has been on the decline, and she's been in hospice for the last month. She lived a long life, and in her final days she was surrounded by her three adult children.
My grandma was a kind woman. She wasn't perfect, but I always felt loved in her presence. She was a retired kindergarten teacher, and was still working when I was a kid. I have so many happy memories sitting at her kitchen table, and I'm going to carry those with me for the rest of my life. She was also proof that anyone who claims that you get more conservative as you get older is full of shit, because she certainly didn't.
I think it's interesting how the body processes grief sometimes. I don't know that I'll cry, but over the past month, knowing this was coming, I've felt a tension in my gut. Now that she's passed, instead of relief that tension is replaced by a sense of emptiness. That something is missing that should still be there. Something has been taken away, and I feel it.
Of course, as I wrote that, I immediately started crying... so I guess my body processes grief in pretty ordinary ways too.
I wanted to come up with something profound linking this to Beltane, which we sit in the middle of right now, but it just seemed hackneyed. Like I was trying to dig out some greater significance when the truth is death comes whenever it wants. The only predictable thing about it is that it's the end of all of our journeys. I hope that when I pass I'm so lucky to have lived such a long life with people that I love around me in my final days.
For the record, I will be fine. I just needed to get these words out while they were still in my head. I don't have some rousing conclusion or deep insight to tack on here at the end, just that gut feeling that something is missing.
Because it is.
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hey Julie how’s that black eye lynn’s about to give you feeling?
I’m sorry Trae but that last line made me laugh. I have seen many people come and go and I have seen a lot of friction and I have been around many women that used that word so often to illustrate a point. I told you I’d find humor in this.
Maybe you shouldn’t admit that the grossest thing I’ve ever written in a comic amuses you?
Just a tip.
It’s just a word. The word made me laugh. I live in an area where women call each other whores quite often. Whether they are or not, it’s a word thrown around and that’s what I find funny. Because I have met many 16 year olds that called other women whores.
Langland, that is the most depressing thing I’ve read all day.
It is what it is I guess. I have an oddballl sense humor and I’m not always the most sensitive person out there.
Context matters. There are contexts where a word like that wouldn’t bother me either, but it’s fairly clear that it is being said here with the explicit intent to be hurtful. Whatever context would potentially make it funny, this isn’t it.