Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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I feel personally attacked.
(Con’s in a week. This year I am the ‘get my sh*t together’ camp. Or as someone once G-rated it, “Get your poop in a group”.)
I need to remember that expression…
“List Spaghetti Privilege”? Maybe if people don’t get their shit together, Jim cuts off their meals at the con?
I assume it’s a variation of Calvin & Hobbes’ “Noodle Incident.”
Respect for the folks who do hard work for a Con. I just show up and make sure the Guests stay fed and watered, maybe double check they make it to whatever panel. Sometimes there’s a shopping run or picking someone up from the airport, but over all it’s a pretty simple position.
Something like Security? I couldn’t do that. I can be big and intimidating, but being polite to people who are not, keeping an eye on things to stop problems before they start… not in my skill set.
Yeah, sorta a similar background back in the day. I was involved with cons, I was not involved at the full planning, financials, and kicking others in the butt so they finally get something done dammit level. It was a flat out relief to not be in several situations, just because ye gods sometimes I’d have snapped and smacked somebody one. Nearly did twice, even as a minion-esque type.