   Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
My grandmother died last night. This wasn't a shock or a surprise. Her health has been on the decline, and she's been in hospice for the last month. She lived a long life, and in her final days she was surrounded by her three adult children.
My grandma was a kind woman. She wasn't perfect, but I always felt loved in her presence. She was a retired kindergarten teacher, and was still working when I was a kid. I have so many happy memories sitting at her kitchen table, and I'm going to carry those with me for the rest of my life. She was also proof that anyone who claims that you get more conservative as you get older is full of shit, because she certainly didn't.
I think it's interesting how the body processes grief sometimes. I don't know that I'll cry, but over the past month, knowing this was coming, I've felt a tension in my gut. Now that she's passed, instead of relief that tension is replaced by a sense of emptiness. That something is missing that should still be there. Something has been taken away, and I feel it.
Of course, as I wrote that, I immediately started crying... so I guess my body processes grief in pretty ordinary ways too.
I wanted to come up with something profound linking this to Beltane, which we sit in the middle of right now, but it just seemed hackneyed. Like I was trying to dig out some greater significance when the truth is death comes whenever it wants. The only predictable thing about it is that it's the end of all of our journeys. I hope that when I pass I'm so lucky to have lived such a long life with people that I love around me in my final days.
For the record, I will be fine. I just needed to get these words out while they were still in my head. I don't have some rousing conclusion or deep insight to tack on here at the end, just that gut feeling that something is missing.
Because it is.
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Does she wear that hat to bed?
I’ve never asked.
I’m just picturing Sarah having different versions of her hat for different purposes: A nightcap one for sleeping, a waterproof one for swimming, a kevlar one for dealing with convention lines, etc.
you made my day with the kevlar one 😀
I see a future con chair in Sarah.
Also, RAD you’re coming to Acen!
Yeah, I’m trying to do more Illinois cons (since Indiana ones are overpriced as all get out), but since I’m boycotting Kopf-cons, I’m left with very few options. ACen made the most sense.
(God, the process of getting an ACen table was hilarious. They really do just open up the floodgates for like fifteen minutes while everyone piles onto the website.)
Have we ever seen her without the hat? I’m starting to think those are actually her ears.