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So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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So, it looks like Jim is actually a reasonable person, barring his obsession with tedious scheduling. I’m looking forward to seeing how this plays out. Most likely with Garner getting tossed out on his ass I’m guessing. Wonder what his beef with Bork Con is…
This storyline has my “intergroup politics” senses tingling.
Garner wouldn’t pick this fight and be open about it unless he’s really secure or really stupid. Garner doesn’t seem stupid to me, but too smart for his own good if anything.
So what’s Garner’s game then? Lynn is a means to an end as was, I suspect, everything he said to Lynn.
I suspect the poor thing actually believes there is Power in being the head of the committee, plans on making a move and is trying to get rid of possible, competent, competition. If he’s completely out of luck he will succeed and his new domain will collapse around him.
“The fact that we seriously considered eliminating the website, and kept it largely due to technicalities proves the con needs you!”
Reputation from “Glitter Indicident”. Hoo boy. 🙂
I think that’s actually supposed to be ‘repercussions’ just misspelled, which may be worse.
Which reminds me…
Hey, Trae, any chance of seeing unobstructed closeups of the whiteboards?
Once the move is complete, of course.
That sounds like a great thing to add as bonus material in the books or to start releasing to Patreon subscribers 😛
‘Mouse Whispering’… I have concerns…
Hmm – I’m smelling the con running equivalent of the coup de etat attempt. All hail El Garnerisimo? Mind you, the fact that the con has been running this long will likely mean that Garner will be in for a surprise or 4. No one stays in the position Jim is in – even in his passive fashion – even hail-marying last minute clusterfark cons together – without some major social kung fu. Sort of a “Submissive Badass” trope example. They’re creampuffs until you upset their applecart in a way that annoys them. Then they’re sort of quietly, relentlessly, and politely send your arse to the metaphorical cleaners. They ARE at home to Mr. Reasonable, and he has lent them his might 😉
Or, as usual I’m dead wrong and it’s something completely different!