Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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Damn Lynn is so awesome!
I didn’t know she was Hispanic until now.
Lynn Guadalupe Baxter is the daughter of an Irish immigrant father and a Mexican-American Mother.
I’m not sure how much I’ve inserted into the last seven years of canon, but I know I mentioned her Mexican heritage for the first time back at the tail end of I Hate November in Chapter Two.
(Lynn was originally created for another comic I was working on in 2003 that I never finished or released. It was called Re-entry and was meant to be a much more serious comic about a couple of characters putting their lives back together after hitting rock bottom. For that project, I did an indepth timeline and bible for each character.
Re-entry stuff isn’t canon, but I updated her timeline in 2006 when I recycled Lynn for a project called “Full Circle.” When I started UnCONventional I used the 2006 character bible for Lynn, and have stuck to it pretty closely)
Little vicious to pull on a lowly desk clerk, on the other hand, he should have been looking for alternative solutions the moment he knew there was a problem.
Yeah, vicious and probably overkill. On the other hand, this problem should never have happened in the first place, so I can’t blame her for going with the nuclear option to fix it.
nice when you can play that many cards from your hand on one turn and just WRECK your opponent
I can just see what’s going through the front desk clerk’s mind….”uh….uh….oh, FELGERCARB!!!!!!”
I work as a front desk clerk and I’ve had this happen…the ones that I REALLY love are the ones that reserve a room online only a half-hour before arriving at the hotel…
Grin. And then just being Lynn seems to be sufficient.