Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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But if we insist on knowing where they come from, then Trae would have to draw purses. Or something.
The fact that no one (except Lynn) ever seems to carry a bag or purse is the most telling indicator that this comic is drawn by someone who has lived their whole life wearing dude pants. 😛
I always just assumed concealed staple holsters hidden in the small of the back. In a cool climate, your sweater or vest covers it, but still permits a fairly quick draw, and the holster permits the attachment of reloader clips.
Or, they could be buying matched pairs of dueling staplers, carried into the meeting by their seconds, but that would be crazy.
I figured it was just the holdout staplers concealed with tape under the edge of the table, but maybe that’s just me.
I figured Sarah kept them in the ears of her hat.
That’s not strictly true–I never gave it a thought until this strip brought it up, then I figured she kept them in the ears of her hat.
I always assumed almost everyone had backpacks that were just offscreen. It IS largely at a college.