Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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Please don’t end your decade-long series with a mass shooting.
I try to avoid spoilers in my responses — but I can promise you 100% that there will be no in-strip mass shooting.
It’s just on my mind a lot these days.
A horrible possibility… statistically not a very likely one, but no less horrible for it.
Sadly, not as statistically unlikely as anyone would like.
Was running some numbers…. each year your chances of being injured by a gun are roughly 1 in 3704… or a 0.027% chance. Which on the one hand seems a small chance. On the other hand, I’m pretty sure i know over 3700 people. Not well, but know them. Meaning there’s a pretty decent chance, every year, someone I know will get shot. Maybe not killed, but injured by a gun.
Though things get skewed in that a lot of people I know aren’t in the US, so they’re almost certainly safer. 675 times safer if they happen to be in Japan.