Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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There is no describing the Funk. It can only be experienced.
Come on I wanna See Sarah start a shin kicking the staffers responsible.
That’s one thing a staffer show have in their con survival pack, a nice gas mask to protect from after dance face melting funk.
not sure why but I see Sarah as a more talkative version Dina from shortpacked.
DINA FROM SHORTPACKED IS DEEEEEEEAD
correction… Dumbing of age
I don’t know why.
Dina in Dumbing of Age is very low energy, quiet and socially awkward, while Sarah is high energy, loud and outgoing. They’re both Asian girls who wear hats?
If Sarah has any similarity to a WIllis character, it’s Robin.
I was thinking that as well, though even then, there there are only a few similarities.
Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnn!
Oh con funk.this is why at our con all the staff has bottles of fabreze
Evil job. Evvvvvvil.
Either my nose simply didn’t want to know, or I should probably be eternally grateful that I’ve usually been driven off of the dance floor and out of the room very early on by the LOUD.