Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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As a dude, I… can’t really disagree…
yea i think it’s why i have mostly female friends
As a dude, I can’t really either. But it should also come with the words, “in public.” At least in my experience, women are just as gross. Just not where everyone and their sister is there to note said behavior*.
*:observation void in groups of female friends hanging out with no one else around. There will sometimes be discussions that are nasty enough to make Bob Guiconne’s head spin. Exceptions also made for long term significant others – there’s only so long you can hide it as much as they’re around.
…no. You really must not get it.
There’s a difference between a conversation between trusted friends, and things you suggest to someone you just met.
Well of course there is. That went in there more for the crowd that sees dudes and super gross and immediately feels that true converse must be that women are sweetness and rainbows and never gross. Unrealistic, if nothing else outdated as all get out, but you still run into it a surprising amount of the time. Was well aware that that wasn’t particularly where she was going with it in the comic, just kinda made me laugh and comment as to the common phenomenon you get when people say this kinda stuff.