Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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Hey look free candy at Unagi Con’s table.It looks like they could gobstoppers or maybe sprees.
Jim did railroad Lynn out of her position in a shitty way. She literally went out of her way to do a specific job at Unagi con. Take that job away and in a shitty way to boot, what loyalty does she have left, to Jim or Unagi con? Zilch. Jim should have realized that before taking action.
Garner didn’t “want out”.unless he told Lynn something off-screen. When Lynn first made the offer to jump ship Garner replied “why would I do that?”
So they’re 1-1 in my book.
What Jim did is far worse than Lynn “poaching” Garner, especially since she used no form of coercion, trickery, or underhanded tactics to win him over. He asked her for a reason and she gave one he was in full support of because he agreed that leaving a Nazi to run about the con was ludicrous.
Meanwhile, Jim was in the wrong from the get-go. He left his staff to deal with a problem he should have stepped up and done himself and when defied, he used childish, underhanded tactics.
I’m not saying Lynn is a faultless angel, but I’d hardly call her and Jim even.