Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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That doubt-related benefit I’ve been giving you is fading, Terrence!
‘We have several potential locations, but we won’t know which one is appropriate to use until we know when it will be, and what sort of stuff we’ll need to display, not to mention how much of it. ‘When’ will be some time after we have things donated. Which at the current rate will be sometime in the 23rd century. Promotion will depend on when and where it’s held, and what sort of stuff we’re promoting.’
Not sure I’m getting what most people are from this arc. Frankly, as much of an ass as Terrence is I’m more thinking that if I was him my reply would be something like, “K… you realize that I knew jack shiat about this stuff, no idea what I’m doing, where, how, or anything else – and y’all have been off in your own little corners doing other shiat so….. you were expecting WHAT again?”
Sure, he’s a jackhole, but when you grab someone, toss them into a pool and yell “Swim!” and walk away – well don’t be disappointed if they don’t do well at all.
(Safety note: make sure to avoid any cameras/witnesses, you don’t want extra evidence for the inevitable wrongful death lawsuit.)
I need to install “like” buttons on comments here…