Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
My grandmother died last night. This wasn't a shock or a surprise. Her health has been on the decline, and she's been in hospice for the last month. She lived a long life, and in her final days she was surrounded by her three adult children.
My grandma was a kind woman. She wasn't perfect, but I always felt loved in her presence. She was a retired kindergarten teacher, and was still working when I was a kid. I have so many happy memories sitting at her kitchen table, and I'm going to carry those with me for the rest of my life. She was also proof that anyone who claims that you get more conservative as you get older is full of shit, because she certainly didn't.
I think it's interesting how the body processes grief sometimes. I don't know that I'll cry, but over the past month, knowing this was coming, I've felt a tension in my gut. Now that she's passed, instead of relief that tension is replaced by a sense of emptiness. That something is missing that should still be there. Something has been taken away, and I feel it.
Of course, as I wrote that, I immediately started crying... so I guess my body processes grief in pretty ordinary ways too.
I wanted to come up with something profound linking this to Beltane, which we sit in the middle of right now, but it just seemed hackneyed. Like I was trying to dig out some greater significance when the truth is death comes whenever it wants. The only predictable thing about it is that it's the end of all of our journeys. I hope that when I pass I'm so lucky to have lived such a long life with people that I love around me in my final days.
For the record, I will be fine. I just needed to get these words out while they were still in my head. I don't have some rousing conclusion or deep insight to tack on here at the end, just that gut feeling that something is missing.
Because it is.
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I admit the guy’s kinda flaky…but man Sarah is laying down the hate kinda hard?
H
When you look at their meeting, not so much really no. He was an huge ass beyond any remote shadow of a doubt. However, she seems to see him as “I like to be a jackhole rrrar rrar yay” when it more comes off as “I am stupidly straightforward with my thoughts, and simultaneously socially clueless as to how to present this and not sound like a jerk.” – at least to me it does. Shrug.
Honestly though. I mean, I get that she dislikes him because of their initial meeting, but you have to admit, I think she is taking her levels of general dislike and raising it to outright loathing a BIT far.
The problem is, their first meeting was horrible. Sarah deciding then that he needs to be lit on fire is perfectly normal, and the fact that she has to keep associating with him only makes it worse. That said, the dude is actually trying to be polite now, so Sarah’s current behavior doesn’t seem like it will improve anything.
I’ve been the Terrence in these sort of conversations for a different reason. Hate is a very powerful thing. Hate is not just a strong dislike. It takes a lot to get me to hate someone or something. This is obviously not true of others and I have found from time to time that there are people all riled up about some momentary thing that really, I just can’t be arsed to get worked up about.
I leave you with a zen story:
A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side.
The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman.
Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his ?journey.
The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them.
Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”
The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”
Does anyone else feel that Sarah’s the sort of asshole they’d hate to have to work with on staff at a con? I’d rather have ten Terrences instead. How many con staffs have been damaged by the Sarahs whose very presence and abrasive attitude discourage many volunteers from staying on?
He did refer to her as “it” in their first conversation. It’s not like she’s totally unjustified.
Yes it is. The level of response is completely disproportionate to the causal event.
Yeah… go around referring to people as “it” and then instead of ever apologizing tell them how little you care about their existence. We’ll see how well that goes for you.
Go around showing a complete lack of forgiveness to people for what could well have been an accident. We’ll see how well that goes for you. Personally, I’d much rather be the one who shows forgiveness in the absence of an apology than the one who is spiteful and hateful in the same circumstances.