Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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I laugh but I recall things like this!
Never met that guy. Met people who thought the weather sucked and then moved on.
Have met people who were upset the entire Con didn’t cater to their particular nitch interest.
Also seen though who had something unfortunate happen to them, and now think the entire Staff should drop everything to solve it. ie, ‘I lost my bag, why aren’t you organizing a room by room search of the hotel?’
Sadly I have seen this one come up…
Ever since I have been making snow jokes close to con…
reminds me of the story of a guy who called the transit authority asking them to move the deer crossing sign from his street so the deers would stop crossing in front of his house all the time
We’ve had people complain that the stairs in the con hotel had too steep a rise.
Also the guy showing up at ConOps Thursday morning at 10am and complaining there was “Nothing to do at this con!” (Note: Opening Ceremonies was 11am Friday. Thursday was Reg and a dance.)
But there hasn’t been any bitching about the weather. Other than ‘It’s hot in [late June/early July].” Yes, yes it is.
There is a story that a “guest” at Walt Disney World walked up to a “cast member” during a storm and said; “Listen, I’ve planned this vacation for months. Turn the rain off.” The cast member actually called the weather service and found out that the rain would end in about twenty minutes, he told the guest who waited for the rain to end and then thanked the cast member for turning it off.