Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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This needs to be a panel.
The only problem is that it takes a comprehensive knowledge of the shows.
So, what, you’re saying there’s a surfeit of potential panelists?
More like a dearth–I’ve been to way too many panels where the panelists’ knowledge was severely lacking.
so you make it a competition, the shows are assigned randomly and a panel and you have X amount of time to create your pitch then a team of of judges score the pitches
it would be The masquerade for aspiring writers and fan fic enthusiasts
I’d watch this panel.
the proposed mash up would be a lot like Escaflone or Aura Battler Dunbine
I prefer to think of it as “Alchemech: Destiny of the Hunters”
Until the tank starts dating one of the mechs.
Well Toei Animation in Japan made a merged episode of DBZ, One Piece, and Toriko in the show One Piece. Just wanted to put that out there.
They did even worse in an episode of Gintama.
I thought it was Maychek…
Also spelling error in Panel 3, “Cark”
Oof – thanks for catching the typo.
As for the pronunciation of “Macek” — I’ve always heard it pronounced “May-sek,” so at the very least (whether it’s right or wrong) that’s how Max and Veronica would say it.
VANESSA
PANEL IDEA
GOOOOOOOOOOO