Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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Whenever Awesome Roy talks, I imagine Atop the Fourth Wall’s 90’s Kid voice.
I had to look up clips to see what you were talking about…
…but yeah, that’s not far off from the voice in my head.
Duuuuuuuude!! It’s the poly bagged variant of “Empire Builder” with the trading card and embossed holo-foil logo!
Really? I imagine Chester A. Bum from Bum Reviews.
Games? Y’got games? Oh, c’mon, help a guy out! GAMES?!
or
Ohmygod this is the
greatestawesomest game EVER!Nope I never forgot Awesome Roy
AwesomeRoy is my favorite character.
So, I started yesterday, around the same hour as now, reading the first strip of this. Besides of being awesome and funny as heck and all(with the necessary spices of sadness and seriousness), I have to know… How does max’s hair works? Does he have the forbidden secret of mickey mouse’s ears perspective? And finally, what would happen with it if two spectators were to look at him in different angles?
1. Max’s hair always points to the right (unless viewed from directly behind)
2. As the artwork in UnCONventional is an abstract representation of their reality, if you were to directly observe Max, he would appear in a much more human form, with hair that obeyed a much more reasonable set of physical rules 😛