   Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
My grandmother died last night. This wasn't a shock or a surprise. Her health has been on the decline, and she's been in hospice for the last month. She lived a long life, and in her final days she was surrounded by her three adult children.
My grandma was a kind woman. She wasn't perfect, but I always felt loved in her presence. She was a retired kindergarten teacher, and was still working when I was a kid. I have so many happy memories sitting at her kitchen table, and I'm going to carry those with me for the rest of my life. She was also proof that anyone who claims that you get more conservative as you get older is full of shit, because she certainly didn't.
I think it's interesting how the body processes grief sometimes. I don't know that I'll cry, but over the past month, knowing this was coming, I've felt a tension in my gut. Now that she's passed, instead of relief that tension is replaced by a sense of emptiness. That something is missing that should still be there. Something has been taken away, and I feel it.
Of course, as I wrote that, I immediately started crying... so I guess my body processes grief in pretty ordinary ways too.
I wanted to come up with something profound linking this to Beltane, which we sit in the middle of right now, but it just seemed hackneyed. Like I was trying to dig out some greater significance when the truth is death comes whenever it wants. The only predictable thing about it is that it's the end of all of our journeys. I hope that when I pass I'm so lucky to have lived such a long life with people that I love around me in my final days.
For the record, I will be fine. I just needed to get these words out while they were still in my head. I don't have some rousing conclusion or deep insight to tack on here at the end, just that gut feeling that something is missing.
Because it is.
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I currently have the newest car I have ever owned and it is 12 years old. I kind of feel called out. 🙂
….I don’t think I’ve ever owned a car less than 10 years old, though some just barely older. Had a few cars that were older than me…
My current vehicle is a 2007, so…
My 10+ year old car was pressed into service for a 5-hour drive with 4 members of our board. All of us, and our luggage, in a my Ford Escort- literally the cheapest car you could buy new from ford when I bought it.
The next year we rented a minivan instead. (We also were toting 5 people, but that was just the excuse to drop the money for the 2-day rental.)
Hey, it’s not MY fault Saturn went out of business for making good cars and making a lot of other car executives look bad, so that I can’t buy another one. And I’m not letting go of my 1998 Saturn any time soon because it still works so well if they WERE still in business I WOULD plan on buying another one.
Always wondered how it would feel not to have to work on an upcoming convention… actually it still feels pretty good! 🙂 Though I suppose if CaliFur gets a decent venue next year I may get sucked back into ConOps…
What’s this about lost spagetti privileges? Darned spagetti incidents.
It could be less that no one has a care less than 10 years old and more that no one really want to pick up Troy Harrington.
That was my interpretation, lol.
… have you seen the economy lately I’d be shocked if there ate half as many cars as board members