Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
My grandmother died last night. This wasn't a shock or a surprise. Her health has been on the decline, and she's been in hospice for the last month. She lived a long life, and in her final days she was surrounded by her three adult children.
My grandma was a kind woman. She wasn't perfect, but I always felt loved in her presence. She was a retired kindergarten teacher, and was still working when I was a kid. I have so many happy memories sitting at her kitchen table, and I'm going to carry those with me for the rest of my life. She was also proof that anyone who claims that you get more conservative as you get older is full of shit, because she certainly didn't.
I think it's interesting how the body processes grief sometimes. I don't know that I'll cry, but over the past month, knowing this was coming, I've felt a tension in my gut. Now that she's passed, instead of relief that tension is replaced by a sense of emptiness. That something is missing that should still be there. Something has been taken away, and I feel it.
Of course, as I wrote that, I immediately started crying... so I guess my body processes grief in pretty ordinary ways too.
I wanted to come up with something profound linking this to Beltane, which we sit in the middle of right now, but it just seemed hackneyed. Like I was trying to dig out some greater significance when the truth is death comes whenever it wants. The only predictable thing about it is that it's the end of all of our journeys. I hope that when I pass I'm so lucky to have lived such a long life with people that I love around me in my final days.
For the record, I will be fine. I just needed to get these words out while they were still in my head. I don't have some rousing conclusion or deep insight to tack on here at the end, just that gut feeling that something is missing.
Because it is.
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i’m with max pick the second one
Ditto!
If he stays true to form, he’ll pick the second one.
Don’t kill him, Veronica! Lynn will be sad you left her out of it!
Was I wrong to hope that Lynn would of shown up?
She’s handling this far more calmly than I would expect.
Naw, Con-zen. She’s already had to deal with so much weird, stupid stuff that she’s gone into full “extremely reasonable murderbot” mode. It’s inevitable after enough time passes – you just aren’t willing to invest in drama anymore – you got too much to do and you’re sick of this crap.
Reading the moussover text, Terrence would be lucky to be Number 6…
I am not a number, color, and infraction. I am a free man! Or, at least, I will be in 30 seconds.
‘A handful of single digit badge numbers’…. not to quibble with the murderous lady, but wouldn’t it be two handfuls? I assume there is no Badge Number zero, so nine single digits?
Only if all of them showed up. It seems like the single digits are the people who started the con, so it’s likely Max was just the first person to sign up.
And Jenna’s dead.
Less than 24 hours until we learn his choice, and the wait is killing me!