Current Post On Trae’s Blog:
So it was literally more than twenty years ago that I first put one of my dumbest creations on the internet: The Steven Seagal Movie Generator.
Like I seriously publicly launched that dumb thing back in 2004, and for those of you who were unaware, it assembles a title, cast and plot of a fake Steven Seagal movie from elements of his (real) bad films.
I honestly got the idea from a former-friend, who in high school wrote a comedic piece about how you could mash up the titles of Seagal films in the weird underground "newspaper" that got handed out for a few years. But I took it a few steps further, and made a whole thing.
Mostly it just sat there though, a thing I made once and never went back to. I followed it up with the Sci-Fi Channel Movie Generator (later retitled the Syfy Movie Generator) in 2008. I spent more time on that one, doing a later design update that made the "Syfy" movies show up on a fake DVD back cover.
But the Steven Seagal generator just sort of sat there, untouched.
And Steven Seagal kept making (terrible) movies with (predictable) titles. Like a lot. But the generator still only spat out movies culled from the nineties and early 2000s, ignoring all of his new stuff. There was a whole library of awful movies that just weren't in there, and it made the generator feel less relevant.
So, uh, I went and did something about that today.
First off, I redesigned the page. Now it looks like the back of a VHS tape box. Then I loaded the elements of about twenty-five additional films into the generator. And that was harder than I thought it would be, since some of the films are so obscure that they're not well documented. I literally had to do some deep research to figure out a lot of the basic plot details that are now in the generator.
But I did it.
And it's done.
And the generator is now fully loaded.
It's still useless and dumb, though.
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Heh, so this is a case where Terrence will see a dude asleep in the video room and attempt to wake him up rather rudely just to show his power.
When Terrence comes to, we find out that the dude was active special forces and was only in the room to keep his GF company while she finishes her video room shift.
Ran a con near several military bases, So it was drilled in to all staffers that if you see anyone asleep in con space, to get the head of security. The above is a true story of one of our enthusiastic security grunts who thought he was the Terrence.
I got 20 bucks on assaults a homeless m as n and 10 on gets himself shot and blames ruthl
ooh this is going to go so well…Can’t wait to see how Ruth has to handle dealing with dudebro’s sorry butt when he goes to harrass some attendee/or staffer off shift to “control the chaos” that doesn’t exist at 4am because everyone is either asleep, or in the drunk tank having a blast being drunk.
Why am I thinking of the Coneheads right now?
I’m sorta thinking Ruth/security starts getting calls about some weirdo harassing guests…
Oh joy, loose cannon alert…